Stages of Grief

At the Heart of It Sometimes sharing about our grief with others can end up feeling like a competition—who has had the “worst” experience, or who will “win” by giving the “right” answers about how to grieve? This is common and can happen in a variety of ways, and it’s often unintentional. The way to…

Whose grief is worse: the doctor who loses her patient, or the family who loses their beloved dog?  Which situation is harder: a long, debilitating illness, or a sudden accident?  What community suffers more: the neighborhood devastated by a hurricane, or the town shocked by a mass shooting?  I hear comparisons like these all the…

“You were so lucky to have her for so long.”  Martha was 75 years old when her mother, Rose, died. Rose had just turned 101. Martha’s friends comforted her by saying how lucky Rose was to live so long, and how lucky Martha was to have that time with her. But Martha did not feel…

In the early days of my working life, one of my colleagues returned from bereavement leave. Her husband had just passed away, and it was her first day back at work. I froze when I saw her walking down the hallway. I wanted her to know I was there for her, but I was so…

When we think of who is working on the front lines of grief and loss, we picture hospice nurses, firefighters, and counselors. We imagine doctors and first responders. But do you think of teachers? In the early days of my career, I never would have put grief work and teachers together. Now, teachers are some…

“I can’t believe he did this to me. How could he leave me with this much debt? I had no idea things were this bad.”  Janet was 66 years old and a recent widow when she discovered the second mortgage her deceased husband had taken out on their home. She’d been working part-time at Walmart,…