Anger

At the Heart of It Sometimes sharing about our grief with others can end up feeling like a competition—who has had the “worst” experience, or who will “win” by giving the “right” answers about how to grieve? This is common and can happen in a variety of ways, and it’s often unintentional. The way to…

This post explores the connection between fear and grief and how having a merciful perspective creates an opportunity for healing.At the Heart of It• Fear is a normal part of grief, but it also can lead to feelings of anger and encourage shutting off from other emotions and one another.• Mercy is an antidote toward…

Whose grief is worse: the doctor who loses her patient, or the family who loses their beloved dog?  Which situation is harder: a long, debilitating illness, or a sudden accident?  What community suffers more: the neighborhood devastated by a hurricane, or the town shocked by a mass shooting?  I hear comparisons like these all the…

“You were so lucky to have her for so long.”  Martha was 75 years old when her mother, Rose, died. Rose had just turned 101. Martha’s friends comforted her by saying how lucky Rose was to live so long, and how lucky Martha was to have that time with her. But Martha did not feel…

In the early days of my working life, one of my colleagues returned from bereavement leave. Her husband had just passed away, and it was her first day back at work. I froze when I saw her walking down the hallway. I wanted her to know I was there for her, but I was so…

When we think of who is working on the front lines of grief and loss, we picture hospice nurses, firefighters, and counselors. We imagine doctors and first responders. But do you think of teachers? In the early days of my career, I never would have put grief work and teachers together. Now, teachers are some…

“I can’t believe he did this to me. How could he leave me with this much debt? I had no idea things were this bad.”  Janet was 66 years old and a recent widow when she discovered the second mortgage her deceased husband had taken out on their home. She’d been working part-time at Walmart,…

You’ve probably heard of the five stages of grief. But did you know that they don’t represent the full complexity of grief? From pop culture to mass media, countless conversations about grief talk about navigating these five steps: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But the reality of grief is far more complicated and nuanced than…

Anyone who has had a pet knows the bittersweet reality that in most cases, we will outlive our beloved pets. But just because they have shorter lifespans than we do, doesn’t mean our bonds are any less close and meaningful. And that goes for the grief of losing a pet, too. Experts have shared that…

None of us can imagine the pain of losing a child until we’ve lived it. But even though this nightmare is a reality for thousands of parents, there is very little research on the grief experience of fathers. We still fall back on old stereotypes as mothers being more bonded to their children and fathers…