As we look back this month in celebration of 25 Years of Hope, we thought it was high time to hear from some of the people without whom our work would be totally impossible: Hearts of Hope volunteers.

Hearts of Hope volunteers find their way to us through many avenues, but more often than not, it’s through personal grief. It’s part of the service experience: when we connect with others and contribute to someone else’s life in a meaningful way, it gives us space and context to process life for ourselves as well. And when we encounter those who have lived through similar tragedies to our own, there is often a feeling of recognition and empathetic connection that we can never quite forget. 

Such was the case for Diane Sarna, Co-President of our Newtown, CT Chapter, and Terry Becker, member of our North Jersey Chapter. This month, I was able to speak with them, and one story stood out in particular for both. Then Newtown Chapter President, Pattie Ptak, accompanied them on this trip as well.

In February 2019, Diane, Terry, and Pattie traveled through a snowstorm to Pittsburgh to deliver hundreds of Hearts of Hope to survivors and community members affected by the Tree of Life synagogue shooting. The trip lasted nearly 20 hours in a single day, but for all three volunteers, the emotional impact far outweighed the long drive or brutal weather.

A resident of Newtown and the Sandy Hook community, Diane felt the impact of the site around the synagogue immediately. The memorials, the notes, the tokens of love left behind were all heartbreakingly familiar. “That was very difficult emotionally because… the memorials that people created were so similar to what we had experienced in Sandy Hook,” she said. “When we said we were from Newtown, they started to cry. It was a tough trip.”

Pictured: Diane Sarna, Pattie Ptak, and Terry Becker with Tree of Life Representatives

For Terry, who has spent nearly 18 years with Hearts of Hope, what stayed with her just as much as the heaviness was the strength she witnessed. “Those folks were moving forward,” she said. “They were sifting through their grief, and remembering the people that they lost, and finding a way to move forward.”

Volunteering in moments like these taught Terry that delivering Hearts of Hope is often less about knowing what to say and more about simply being present. “You kind of just don’t know what to say,” she reflected. “You don’t know what to offer.” Instead, she found herself listening. “It’s really where your listening skills kind of come into play. And it’s one of those times where less is more.”

So that was what they did.

At the nearby police station, they met officers who had run toward danger on the day of the shooting.

At the Jewish Community Center, or JCC, they sat with survivors and families who were carrying unimaginable loss.

Again and again throughout the day, our Hearts of Hope volunteers listened. They sat with people. They offered hearts when words felt too small. 

For 25 years, Hearts of Hope has been built on moments like these. But delivering Hearts of Hope is not simply about handing someone a small clay heart. For the volunteers who carry them into communities marked by tragedy, it becomes something far more personal: an act of listening, witnessing, and sharing in another person’s grief. 

And often what they feel and share isn’t only sympathy, which stands at a distance and says I care. It’s empathy, shaped by experience, that says I understand.

And, according to Terry, it’s worth it. “You’re so proud to be a part of it,” she said. “And you’re so happy to make a difference—a small, small difference.”

Hearts of Hope gifts are made by the thousands every year and are freely given to groups all over the country. If your group would like to receive gifts of caring and compassion, please reach out to us. These little gifts become keepsakes that are treasured for a lifetime.

Remember: you don’t have to carry your grief alone. If you or someone you know is hurting, don’t hesitate to reach out.